: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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