Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
