The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
