do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize