Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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