dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
