I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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