i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
