What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
