HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Are we still banned from the library?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize