Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
