when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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