your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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