dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
