I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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