I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
