just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
