For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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