I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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