She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
