if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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