I heard we made out
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
