Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
