I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
