Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
