it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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