so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
