im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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