I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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