You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I could make wine with my vomit
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize