Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
