what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize