I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
