I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize