Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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