my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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