I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
