is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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