oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just cropdusted the office
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
