She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
