My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
