Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
