Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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