he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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