I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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