your parents love me but you hate me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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