I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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