it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
