dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
