wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
