New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
