I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
