The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize