You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
