It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
