I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
