I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize