Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
