Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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