Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ttyl tear gas
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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