Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
