So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
